I'm not sure you want me
to give you a poem like this
for your birthday --
a poem which says I need
to bury myself in the center of your heart
and swim there like a mermaid.

I pretend to do ordinary things like
birthday cards
but all the cells in my body are
throwing a tantrum because
you're not here with me
even when I open the dishwasher
or the blind
my body is aching because I'm not bending for you
and my skin shouts angrily to the angels
because your hands are not touching me